Social media isn't the end (or the beginning) of anything in your life 

Stop Following. Start Leading! 

In all my years as a writer and a marketer, I've had a complicated relationship with social media. 

You can call it a marriage of convenience that I am ready to break at every given opportunity. And I've been quite vocal about it, too. 

In all my calls with fellow freelancers, clients, and some fantastic people from the writing community, I've shared how I hate social media and would never be a part of the 'rat race' to get instantly gratified. 

One of my most popular pieces on Medium is about the same subject, too. But I am not writing today to share my angst. But rather talk about how taking a stand has helped me 'stand out. 

The Irony of Being Social Online…

Well, you know how it is in the online world, especially if you're a freelancer. 

Everyone tells you to build a personal brand — they ask you to be consistent, post regularly, engage, expand your horizons and whatnot. 

Sometimes, it feels like we're not human beings but content churning machines designed to please the algorithms and, in return, get rewarded with likes, comments, leads, and even real work.

You might have noticed how you feel when you're on social media. 

It's like the adage: you're either hungry or full. You're either motivated or demotivated. You're either happy or sad. There's no 'in between. 

We live in a world of instant gratification. We want what we want when we want it. We get what we want when we want it. 

We're addicted to the 'now'. Or like I say, 'living in the moment.

Social media is a part of our lives, but we don't realize how much it has permeated our existence. 

We can't escape it. It's on us 24/7, but the thing is, we're not getting better at anything. 

In other words, we're living in a world of "social media", but we're not living in a 'social' world.

And it has started to affect us all, in some way or the other. 

We're connected to the world — our clients, friends, and followers. Still, we are constantly in fear of being alone. 

Well, don't hide. I know we've all been there.

Most of the people I talk to reveal that they're afraid to get on calls (or are always tired of being enthusiastic about an opportunity presented to them). 

While being 'bored' is understandable. 

But how could a generation that thrives on alleged mediums of being social turn out to be 'introverts'? 

I never understood that. Maybe, I am 'uncle' enough never to understand. But that's how it is now. 

Ask Yourself — Is Social Media Bringing You Success or Making You Successful? 

You may be a social media hotshot. Or someone who's just started their journey. 

I just have a question for you. 

What is the difference between being successful and being a success?

Nowadays, in most cases, success is defined by what we do in our professional careers. When we achieve a certain position, we are considered successful (in the eyes of society). 

Yet the truth is, there is a big difference between being successful and being a success.

For example, when we are successful at work, we are successful at something (or just one thing). But, being a success is something more than just being successful at what we do.

A successful person is someone who's a success in everything. 

They are a success in family, relationships, health, wealth, community, and spirit.

By this definition, I don't think social media makes you successful in life. 

You can agree to disagree, though. Everyone has a right to an opinion, just like me.

I feel that being successful on social media isn't the end of the beginning of a successful career. 

It's just a step up the ladder. 

You still have to take a million steps and decisions (if not more) to be a successful person. 

Why do I choose to care for the Social Media generation?

Not many people I talk to know that I started my journey on social media. 

I had a pretty popular Facebook page back in the day and a blog. 

The proverbial demon bit me too early, and I just got out of its shackles before everyone jumped on the bandwagon. 

The reason I stopped was not that the reach started dwindling. 

But because I soon realized that I felt more lonely in real life as my online following started to grow. 

This is part of my learning journey, and since then, I have been pretty careful about using social media (even when I work in the online marketing industry). What's the point of being an online hotshot (or success) if you feel miserable from within? 

I care for the generation today because most of the people in this generation are confused. They hear one person in the morning, hear someone else in the evening, and fail to segregate right from wrong (not that there's a right or wrong direction in life). 

But my point is - rarely do I meet someone confident enough to take a stand to support their opinion (or take on life). Everyone's confused and chooses to bend at the first hint of challenge. 

I never say it's terrible to make mistakes. I don't say I don't make mistakes. But even when you make them, you can optimize your learning from the experiences of others.  

And this is the reason I am writing about social media today. Because I want you to make mistakes but at the same time learn from mine, too. 

There's no reason why you shouldn't listen to me because you've already heard millions of others out there. 

What should you do about social media? 

I am nobody to tell you if you should use or not use social media for freelancing, growing your business or something else. 

But I do have an opinion on social media (and life in general). 

Whatever you do — go in favour of a social media-powered growth strategy or stay away, don't ever give up on your principles. 

Take a stand today — in favour or against. 

If you believe social media would give you something valuable and take you on the path of being successful in life (and not just work), feel free to close this tab just now. 

But if you have even an inch of doubt about it, first, make up your mind. 

LEARN TO TAKE A STAND IF YOU WANT TO STAND OUT. 

Write down your philosophy and take on life, social media, success, and growth in general. Stop reading posts like these with the expectation that you'd find some hidden enlightenment within these black and white pixels. 

Instead, start taking action. Learn to stand up to others and prove your theory not by loud words but by results. 

If you feel social media is taking you on a path to success — be very clear (and vocal) about your thoughts. 

If you think you won't succeed on social because you're an introvert, try new things and tell others about your experiences.

Just don't stay shut and silent. 

Remember, whatever you choose, there are always supporters to your theory. 

For every Gary Vee, there's a Dr. Cal Newport. 

Take a stand carefully based on your insights and goals, and start taking baby steps in that direction. 

All the best! 

Reading a Book Made Me Write This

A few years back, I came across the Deep Work theory by Cal Newport. Here's the video in case you're interested. 

Then I read his book, Deep Work which talks about being focused in a distracted world (including social media).

Page no. 181 of that book talked of the rule of Quitting Social Media. It kind of aligned with my own hypothesis that being on social media doesn't add any value to my work, life, or bring me opportunities. I am just under the illusion that if I am active, I'll get work. 

Then during COVID-19, I resurfaced online (this time on LinkedIn). But through my various interactions with other freelancers and entrepreneurs, in general, I realized I was better off without social in every way. 

The book (Deep Work) also talks about similar situations. In the chapter about social media, there are several references to people who just quit social media. 

One such story is about an author, Baratunde Thurston. He launched an experiment to disconnect from online life for 25 days. 

Tips by Baratunde Thruston for Digital Detox and Disappearing Online. Source: FastCompany

Prior to his experiment, Baratunde was the 'most connected man' in the eyes of his friends. He reveals how it made him a better person (professionally and personally). 

In case you're curious about his experiment, here's the original article by the author himself

Coming back to the point — I realized through my personal experiences that social media isn't necessary for me (or my success) and reiterated and proved the hypothesis by finding people who believed in the same theory (Dr. Cal Newport in this case). 

Remember, I told you to take a stand and prove your theory with facts. Dr. Cal Newport's Deep Work theory is the fact to this fictional dilemma that I faced (and you might be facing, too). 

Do give the book a read sometime. Who knows what insight you get to unearth?  In that case, do write to me at contact@arsachdeva.com. I love talking (despite not being on social media). 

Till the next time.