Your Mental State is a Game of Seesaw Afterall 

Earlier yesterday, I scribbled a tweet out of the blue. 

 

And I realised how much I have come to believe in the theory. 

I write less nowadays, some months lesser than others. 

But the lesser I write, the better I am getting inside my head — I now quickly discover opportunities, build a plan, and start executing things. I am yet to get the results, but I am sure they'd be great too. 

I changed my approach to life and worked in September 2021 to pursue clarity. 

But why?? Sab sahi to chal raha hai! Everyone said. 

 

Because I was sick of chasing my dreams (yes, that happens). And honestly, the industry doesn’t look appealing anymore. (I am tired of seeing vanity metrics and  fluff all around the internet).

I didn’t sign up for all this when I first started. Instead, I just wanted to write. But we all know writing for self barely pays for anything without some groundwork.

An important note here: I worked towards building financial security before I took this step. I am not insane, exactly.

 

Anyway, I finally am at peace with what I am doing currently, and I can say I am clearer than ever in my life.

I am slowly building set of tools, resources, and solutions I wish to work on for life. 

But during this time of turmoil, I realised that I was suffering from the curse of knowledge. 




Maybe, this is the reason I was rarely satisfied with anything I was doing. Because anything I did, I always looked at the problems & solutions from a mountain top. (Maybe, that’s why I have trouble staying interested in long conversations).  

I clearly needed a mindset shift. And that's what I did. 

I vividly remember I was working for a couple of clients, even consulting a friend to set up his agency. And by August 2021, I quit everything. 

But this wasn't the first time I quit. But this time, I left money on the table, not because of confusion but the clarity I got due to self-doubt, self-question, and self-introspection. 

It is said that you need to leave somewhere to get elsewhere. 

 

I did the same. 

Subsequently, I started writing less. And that's what gave me time to get bored. 

Let me tell you that boredom is seriously underrated in 2022. We all are so obsessed with FOMO that we are rarely bored. 

And when I got bored of everything around me, I started chasing my childhood dreams (and my long-term goals) that were vaguely related to my profession and work. 

During this time, I bought a PlayStation, spent time with books, discovered some great music, and had long conversations with people I admired. And spent a lot of time with myself. It was as close to meditation as it could be. 

The more I meditated this way and got bored; the more my mind tried to find the purpose of my professional work. 

And in 3 months, I was finally clear — I didn't want to write or talk about marketing all my life. Nor did I want to be a ghostwriter, no matter how much money it brought. 

I aspired to be known, write what I wanted, reduce the hours I sat with my laptop, and be happier than I was. 

Leaving writing for some time gave me time to think and acquire some foresight. 

And that's how I set up my game plan for the next decade. 

Not just that, I realigned my priorities, which helped me achieve some 'once in a lifetime' goals. 

During this ordeal and dilemma, I realised the relationship between clarity & confusion. Life gives everyone some chance to play seesaw with Clarity and Confusion. 

 

 

Sometimes, we're clear; sometimes, we're confused. And it's okay! 

But no state is permanent. It keeps on changing. And the beauty of the game is that during this transition, you get time to spend with yourself and rethink your work/life and priorities. And most of the time, you’re back on the path in no time. 

So, don’t be afraid of this dilemma. 

You have the right to be confused at times.

It is when you’re confused that you tend to get bored. When bored, you start looking for alternate ways to earn, survive, and grow. And during this hustle, most find the real purpose of their being. 




Remember, the seesaw between clarity and confusion doesn’t mean that you’re depressed (or bipolar), which sometimes is the first thought in the minds of everyone around you.

This game of seesaw is just your conscious’ mechanism to push you to do some more good to yourself. 

Don't be afraid of this. 

Whatever you may be facing. Don’t worry. This too shall pass, and you’ll get clarity again. I can say that without a doubt. 

And remember, don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t work for a day, week, month or even a year. In the long run, it won’t matter anyway.